HOW DO YOU CONQUER YOUR FEARS?
We all have fears, it’s how we handle them that makes us different. Some of us let them stop us in our tracks, and others welcome them as a challenge and work through them. The more often you confront your fears, the easier it becomes to work through them. Also, the quickest way to move through fear is by taking action.
Most things that scare us don’t actually come to fruition. We imagine things like falling down on stage while giving a speech, or worse — freezing up. Or, we might imagine getting fired over a mistake we made the day before at work. But, our minds tend to imagine the worst-case scenarios.
Believe it or not, fear actually has value. It was our way of protecting us during caveman times by giving us a shot of adrenaline. Now, it can be used as a yield sign of sorts. Pay attention to it, but don’t let it stop you. Fear is learned and can be unlearned. I unlearned my fear of snakes. Of course, I’m not going to pick up a cobra, but I no longer get freaked out every time I see a corn snake. The only fears we are born with are the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling backward. All other fears are learned.
When our minds are creating our fears, there are some strategies that can help. Here are 5 steps you can take to help you work through your fears.
- Ask yourself, ‘Is this fear real?’ Be objective. Too many times our minds will try to convince us of something that isn’t true. Really try to feel the fear and acknowledge it if it is real. Then, rate the fear on a scale from one to 10. Next, figure out where you are feeling this fear. Is it in your stomach? chest? shoulders/neck area? Sometimes just allowing yourself to feel the fear will subside it long enough for you to take action.
- Change the image. What are you imagining? Whatever fear you are creating in your mind, you can choose to stop it. Imagine a different scenario. Make it positive instead of negative. Instead of imagining freezing up during the presentation, imagine a standing ovation. Really feel it.
- Calm yourself. If you find yourself in flight or fight mode and can’t move forward, listen to music or take some deep breaths. Clear your mind.
- Take 5. Next time you are fearful to take action, just count down from five to one and take action on it. Whether you are afraid to make a phone call; go on stage or go into an interview, count down and go for it as soon as you hit one. Don’t think about it — just do it! (Mel Robbins, 5 Second Rule)
- Be present. This is the technique that helps me the most. I bring myself back to the present and imagine one small next step I can take. This technique reminds us that nothing bad is happening at this moment, and can give you the momentum you need to take one step. Remember, action is the quickest way to move through your fear.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
— Nelson Mandela
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BOOK CORNER
The book that I want to share today is The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes (the creator of the TV shows Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and Scandal). In her book, she admits that she usually says no to new opportunities and anything that would take her out of her comfort zone. She also admits that she isn’t living a very happy life. Then, when her sister points out that she always says no to everything, she decides to prove her wrong.
This book is inspiring and written in a light comedic tone. I enjoyed reading it and definitely resonated with some of her stories. Some of the opportunities she says YES to really take her out of her norm. She says yes to everything from public speaking to going to parties to opening herself up to dating.
Her life takes an amazing turn and even though she had great professional success before, she really created an amazing personal life for herself by saying YES instead of no — even when it frightened her.
Live the life you were meant to live!.
Kim Fowler, Health and Life Coach — You can download her free eBook, Design the Life You Were Meant to Have, and sign up for her newsletter by visiting https://www.fowlercoaching.com.
